(I promised myself I would write before I gave in to my down comforter and sleeping aide. I have to keep working toward this dream of mine while awake in reality.)
At what point do we put down our current life and start to build the future we've always dreamed of?
I feel like if I just get a week off I'd be able to do it. A week off from work, chores, friends, family and all relationships and responsibilities. A week for myself here and now. Not to plan ahead or clean up old messes. A week to just be. As much as I'd like to stop time, I don't know where the giant snooze button is so, how do I work in the "just being" when I have all this doing?
I think I'm trying. I feel like I am some days, but my little triumphs don't seem to add up. I've been waiting too long to be taking baby steps now. I want to leap, but I have weak joints and I'm kind of accident prone. Seriously. Taking risks is something I use to thrive on. I wasted all my courage on dumb, juvenile, choices. Scars are really REALLY hard to get rid of. Actually, I'm pretty sure they are permanent since those scare reducing creams I've wasted money on haven't worked. I'm holding on to the hope that some how, some day, I can figure out how to get rid of them...
or at least maybe I can cover them with a bow for a while.
I can make a bow tomorrow. I make perfect bows. Just need the right ribbon. Which I'm also sure I have somewhere in my attic. I might have to make a trip to the craft store tomorrow. Hope I have a coupon.
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